Warped Cigars "La Hacienda" Review: Brown Sugar & Pistachio Mellow Corojo

Thus far, every blend I have smoked from Warped Cigars has been a bona fide ass-kicker.

Not just in that each stick I have smoked has kicked my ass (founder/owner Kyle Gellis is definitely a fan of spicier, fuller cigars), but because each encounter has kicked a ton of ass. 

So when I met up with Kyle at the annual Premium Cigar Association (PCA) Convention & Trade Show in Las Vegas this year, I was delighted when he handed me a sample of a blend that I have yet to puff.

Gellis named this blend "La Hacienda" for a reason, as this is Warped Cigars' answer to an any-given-day sort of house smoke. A mellower stick that is built for a broad range of cigar smokers. A stogie that provides shade-grown corojo smoking pleasure to those who typically shun the traditionally spicy wrapper leaf.

I personally adore stronger, spicier cigars. But with no end to the summer heat in sight, I lit Mr. Gellis' sample stick up the other day to give this blend a single stick shakedown... 

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Unlit Impressions

Warped La Hacienda

They weren't kidding when they said that this blend is a roasted pistachio bomb. Straight out of the cellophane, your nose is flooded with the signature scent of this tree nut. Secondary sweetgrass smells, a medley of multicolored peppercorns, and a little criollo earthen sweetness finish it all off.

Very little corojo spice unlit notes to be detected here folks, even on cold pulls. Just more of the same as the above, but with a nice brown sugar sweetness and a tingly herb garden taste on the finish.

While the aquamarine, gold, and black band had me fawning, the finishing of the wrapper was notably flawed. Uneven seams that were not firmly pressed when rolled, binder corners poking about, and a cap that was anything but smooth on the rounded top end all left me feeling like this stick should have been flagged at the factory.  

Initial Smoke  

Warped La Hacienda

As advertised, this stick fires up with nary a sign of spice or strength. How very un-Warped, right?

Mild yet memorable, the starting point for "La Hacienda" is 100% pistachio nuts first, followed by a little bit of leather, and some dashes of dark sugar and cedar shavings. What a grand beginning for the palate to ponder indeed. 

1st Half 

Warped La Hacienda

Strength and body build ever so slightly as the first half progresses, but still remain well within the bounds of medium on all accounts. There's a nice dash of lemon pepper in there for about 15 minutes or so, some tangy sweetgrass and cardamom pods, along with a mid-grade criollo depth. All of this rests atop a seemingly bottomless bowl of roasted pistachio nuts.

Wonderfully blended and bursting with finely aged flavors, I cherished every puff of the first half. Fantastic work all around. Bravo.

2nd Half   

Warped La Hacienda

As things meld into a darker, oiled leather and cedar spice balance, a cooling mint tea sensation makes a guest appearance. This is soon overrun by flavors of beet sugars and some faint coffee grounds. Nothing too sweet or bitter here. Just more forward flavors than what the prior mint effect can offer. Corojo spice has increased a little, but it still falls well within the medium range. 

Parting Puffs  

Warped La Hacienda

Without question my least favorite portion of the stick, the taste of black pepper, leather, and oily sun-grown tobacco form an imbalanced finish to the cigar that forced me to put it down prematurely. Nothing strong mind you. Just a bit too unrefined to be deemed pleasant. 

There was also a funky, wax-like flavor and aroma that made me think of the smell of an unscented candle burning. This mellowed after a few puffs but did not disappear, giving me further reason to put the stick down one last time. 

Ash / Burn / Smoke / Draw 

Warped La Hacienda

This stick required a hefty touch-up in the first third and struggled to burn straight afterward. The ash was fairly strong and built some length, but it was also very flakey. Burn lines were wavier than a Richard Simmons perm, and overheating was a concern at no fewer than four points in the cigar.

Smoke production was acceptable and medium in body, while the draw was strong like Donkey Kong. 

Final Thoughts

Warped La Hacienda

If there had not been any construction concerns or that unpleasant waxy and imbalanced parting puffs tail end tastes, this cigar would have scored much higher. Keep those lemon pepper and cardamom pod notes around for a little longer, and Warped would have a blend that scores higher yet. 

Luckily, the unique tastes and pistachio notes found within the first 75% of this blend earn it near-perfect points from a cigar flavor profile standpoint. Smoothness and body are a benefit of opting for this smoke as well, as it is indeed the mildest blend I have had to date from Warped Cigars. Damn good draw too, with the perfect amount of resistance.

If you've been wanting to try something from Warped Cigars, but are hesitant of getting into something that is entirely too intense, reach for a "La Hacienda" and let us know what you think. We'll be revisiting this mellow, shade-grown corojo blend again soon, I can feel it... 

Warped La Hacienda

Cigar Stats


Warped Cigars "La Hacienda"


Shade-Grown Corojo '99 (Nicaragua)




Corojo '99 & Criollo '98 (Nicaragua)




5.5" x 52 "Gran Robusto"



Pairing Drink

Pomegranate & Lime Club Soda 



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